Experiencing India on my skin for the first time, after having been in this country for so many years. Feeling people's eyes on me, perceiving my white skin, my smell, the food I prepare and eat, the thoughts I think, the dreams I see... Realizing how different I am from the crowd that surrounds me BUT also from the Italian crowd I belong to. Who am I? Which image is the mirror reflecting?
I cannot but see my demanding eyes staring at my pale face. Too much fear is there. Fear to be deprived of my identity, this silly idea I kept cultivating for years and years. A glimpse on the same mirror taunts me, I cannot find the mask I was use to muddle with my own self. And I feel naked, I miss that layer of make up on my skin, I hardly removed it before going to bed all alone. And here we are, learning how to touch my intimate parts, stepping out that comfort zone I knew well, going to trek in unexplored dark zones from where wild sounds come from.
Tiredness slows me down. No energy left it seems unless I focus on that dim light which burns over there. I choose to go on, to proceed on this impervious path, step by step. Falling down doesn't mean to break my legs. I fill my lungs of fresh air, I never noticed its sweet taste before. Strange to feel alive after so long. Waking up from a long agitated sleep and see how brights are the colors of trees, sky, clouds. Becoming the master of myself and unbind those tight chains. Identity is now nowhere. And everywhere. I am tree, I am water, I am sky. I am the smell of that rose whose fragrance lovers long for. I am here and there, India thought me. And thanks to it I am getting closer and closer to Italy, the amazing country my journey started from.
I cannot but see my demanding eyes staring at my pale face. Too much fear is there. Fear to be deprived of my identity, this silly idea I kept cultivating for years and years. A glimpse on the same mirror taunts me, I cannot find the mask I was use to muddle with my own self. And I feel naked, I miss that layer of make up on my skin, I hardly removed it before going to bed all alone. And here we are, learning how to touch my intimate parts, stepping out that comfort zone I knew well, going to trek in unexplored dark zones from where wild sounds come from.
Tiredness slows me down. No energy left it seems unless I focus on that dim light which burns over there. I choose to go on, to proceed on this impervious path, step by step. Falling down doesn't mean to break my legs. I fill my lungs of fresh air, I never noticed its sweet taste before. Strange to feel alive after so long. Waking up from a long agitated sleep and see how brights are the colors of trees, sky, clouds. Becoming the master of myself and unbind those tight chains. Identity is now nowhere. And everywhere. I am tree, I am water, I am sky. I am the smell of that rose whose fragrance lovers long for. I am here and there, India thought me. And thanks to it I am getting closer and closer to Italy, the amazing country my journey started from.
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